The Fallout from Cheating in a Relationship

There are few things as cruel as cheating in a relationship.

Imagine how hurtful it is to be betrayed by your friends. But to be betrayed by your lover? That’s a whole other level of pain. Regardless of how long you and your partner have been together, cheating will cast a giant shadow over a relationship.

And in some cases, infidelity is a hump couples can’t get over.

While the realization that you’re being cheated on is shocking, the pain doesn’t stop there. If you think finding out already hurts, wait until you deal with the emotions that come with the fallout of your relationship.

Classic Signs of Cheating

Identifying a cheater isn’t easy. Sometimes, the most deceptive and manipulative people seem like the most trustworthy ones. They appear and claim not to hurt you, only to betray you with no remorse.

How can you tell if your partner or spouse has another person on the side? These common cheating signs should help you catch them:

1. Dramatic mood and behavioral changes

Mood shifts aren’t uncommon. However, you can tell if something is off when they’re drastic. If your typically-mellow partner suddenly becomes an intense and confrontational person, something is going on behind your back.

2. Heightened stress

Is your partner exhibiting showing frequent signs of stress? If so, there’s a chance that they’re covering something up. If they give sketchy reasons contributing to their stress or become more agitated around you, you’re right to raise suspicions.

3. Frequent lying, secrecy, and avoidance

Lying, secrecy, and avoidance are arguably, the defining components of cheating. Lies, secrets, and avoidance make an affair painful for victims. But for cheaters, those three things make their sins thrilling and exciting.

Cracks will show if your partner constantly gives inconsistent and conflicting excuses for their avoidance. If they don’t stop doing this, they’re telling on themselves.

4. Gaslighting and projection

You know your partner or spouse shows no remorse when they turn the tables on you over their mistake. Even when you’ve caught their infidelity in real-time, they will blame you. Talk about incredible (in the worst way possible)!

Gaslighting alone is a gross tactic. When cheaters combine that with projection, they just become more manipulative and disgusting. Imagine being accused of cheating even after confronting them about it!

If they attempt to project their mistakes on you, don’t fall for their bait. Respond by cutting into their projections and saying something like, “That’s not how I see it” or “I’m not the one being paranoid.”

5. Intimacy changes

Many things affect a person’s drive for physical intimacy. Hormones, physical health, and mental state are some of the relevant contributors.

However, what if a partner’s previous enthusiasm for intimacy has disappeared or their nonchalance transformed into a willingness for experimentation? When those happen, they may be a sign that trouble’s brewing. While you shouldn’t suspect immediately, you do have the right to be cautious about their sudden shift.

Types of Cheating

Infidelity doesn’t come in a one-size-fits-all category. As sick as this sounds, different types fill various voids. Knowing them may not eliminate your pain, but they’ll help you solve your confusion and move forward.

Below are the types of infidelity cheaters usually resort to:

a. Physical infidelity

When people think of affairs, this is, perhaps, the first kind that comes into their minds.

Sleeping with someone other than your partner is an obvious no-no. Some gestures like hand-holding may seem small, but the feelings they spark may start something forbidden.

b. Emotional infidelity

Let’s say you discovered that your partner has gotten too comfortable with someone at work. To your knowledge, they haven’t done anything physical.

However, they’ve been talking about intimate and private details, like personal problems and wins. This development has been happening while you and your partner have been facing problems.

That is an example of emotional cheating.

Compared to physical infidelity, this type is harder to identify. Small talks and late-night messages don’t always indicate that something’s happening. However, if there’s flirting and sexual tension involved, then your partner’s already cheating.

c. Micro-cheating

Sometimes, small things make a bigger impact than grand gestures. Micro-cheating is one of them.

This type of infidelity refers to forming inappropriate connections with people outside your relationship without the desire to leave the relationship. Why do cheaters want to stay in relationships despite fooling around with others? Micro-cheating may be why they stick around.

You may be unfamiliar with the term, but we’re sure you’ve seen the behavior associated with it.

An example of micro-cheating is catching up with an ex to fulfill emotional needs. That decision can be enough to ruin that person’s current relationship.

Effects of Cheating

Like what we’ve alluded to earlier in the opening paragraph, infidelity doesn’t just break your heart. There’s more to that betrayal than just crying after making the discovery.

What does infidelity do to a person? Take a look at its devastating effects:

1. Dwindled confidence and self-esteem

There’s no way around the fact that a cheater picked somebody else over you. That makes you believe you’ve made a mistake, leaving you wondering what you did wrong.

2. Self-loathing

Decreasing self-esteem leads to self-loathing. The more you believe the infidelity is your fault, the more you learn to hate yourself. We are our own worst critics, but constantly blaming ourselves is harmful behavior.

3. Increased paranoia

For some people, one instance of being cheated on is enough to make them doubt people’s honesty and intentions. If you don’t shake off that doubt, it’ll trap you in an endless loop of paranoia.

4. Anxiety

The paranoia you develop can leave you constantly on edge and overthinking your every move. Being in your own head can hold you back from fully accepting new love in your life.

Regardless if your partner cheated in a marriage or a three-month-long relationship, the effects are generally the same. If you feel like you need professional help in dealing with these effects, don’t hesitate to reach out to licensed professionals.

Consequences of Cheating for Cheaters

Infidelity doesn’t just affect victims. Perpetrators can feel its effects too. Below are some of the consequences cheaters get after being unfaithful to their partners:

1. Lost trust

Let’s say you and your unfaithful partner chose to stay together despite the infidelity. Sure, the relationship may still be alive, but the trust isn’t intact. And although your partner can earn your trust again, it won’t be the same as it once was.

2. Damaged relationships

How would you react once they learn of your partner’s infidelity? How would your family members and friends feel? Tension will most likely arise, making interactions more complicated.

3. Grudges

Infidelity is guaranteed to show resentment, which can lead to grudges. Who wouldn’t be mad at a painful betrayal?

You’re allowed to feel angry at your partner. However, we recommend avoiding retaliation through revenge cheating. It won’t placate your pain.

[Conclusion]

Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of cheating. But unfortunately, some people have little to no remorse for the effects and consequences. Should it happen to you, give yourself enough time to choose your preferred outcome out of this painful betrayal.