The Allure and Appeal Behind Bad Boys

Leather jackets, tattered jeans, and tattoos—those three things help paint stereotypical images of bad boys. Think James Dean (minus the tattoos) driving in his car smoking a cigarette.

These men have long been beloved everywhere, from books to TV shows. Wherever they are, they’re guaranteed to attract a crowd. In most cases, they even win out over nice guys!

What is it about these men that makes them appealing? Is it their looks or their attitude? Why do many women continue falling for them despite having many red flags?

Let’s demystify the appeal of these brooding and mysterious men. We’ll discuss their allure and the effect they have on many women. We’ll also talk about the good girl-bad boy syndrome that’s been around for a long time.

The “Bad” Behind the Boy

What makes a bad boy a bad boy? To truly understand why they are who they are, let’s take a look at the science behind the persona.

The Psychology

According to psychologist and professor Michael R. Cunningham, that kind of man “ooze testosterone, which leads to boldness and is associated with exaggerated sexuality.” Psychology professor Madeleine A. Fugère suggests that a bad boy is a rebellious and emotionally unavailable person.

Relationship coach and researcher Marisa T. Cohen says bad boys exhibit psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism—three traits comprising the psychological “dark triad.”

Let’s have a quick overview of these three traits:

I. Psychopathy

This trait refers to a lack of remorse or empathy and displays of antisocial, manipulative, and volatile behavior. Take note that psychopathy is different from being a psychopath, which usually involves violent criminal acts.

II. Narcissism

This term describes an extremely self-absorbed person. If you attempt even a small dose of constructive criticism, they’ll see that as a personal attack and act defensively.

III. Machiavellianism

People often describe a person displaying Machiavellian traits as a manipulative and callous individual willing to do anything to get what they want.

This trait got its name from 16th-century diplomat and author Niccoló Machiavelli, who famously wrote The Prince—a book highlighting wickedness, trickery, and deception.

The Traits

Now that we’re aware of the psychology behind these men, let’s break down some defining characteristics:

I. Nonchalance

Do you ever feel like doing or saying something without caring about anyone’s thoughts and opinions? Have you ever wanted to block out outside noise so badly when making choices?

That indifference is what we call nonchalance. That is one of the traits that make bad boys what they are. When the rest of us are scared at the thought of taking risks, these men go ahead and take them anyway without asking for second opinions.

II. Defiance towards rules

Their nonchalant attitude goes well with their aversion to following rules. Why? They prefer doing things without much supervision instead of following others. They also believe rules and standards hold them back from fully expressing themselves. If you wonder why these men carry themselves with a rebellious air, look no further than this trait.

III. Candor

Brutal honesty is in a bad boy’s DNA.

Whether you cross them or not, they don’t hold back on expressing their thoughts. More often than not, they don’t explain their opinions because they don’t feel the need to. They’re aware that they can’t please everyone, hence their lack of a filter. And because of their candor, they don’t allow anyone to overstep them.

IV. Unpredictability

A bad boy likes playing by his rules. And because of that, no one can predict their moves. They will do whatever they want at any time. Security isn’t their finest trait.

Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys?

Looking at the traits above, it’s safe to say that bad boys are walking red flags women ought to stay away from. As human as we are, there are ladies who can’t resist these men.

With that, we know some of you are asking this question: why do women like bad boys?

These reasons may help you understand such a desire:

1. People want what we can’t have

Something is appealing about forbidden things.

A bad boy is one of those. Ideally, women shouldn’t be giving them attention because they’ll just waste their time and break their hearts. However, that fact makes them more alluring.

2. They give freedom

People expect women (especially the good-girl types) to follow a conservative and passive mold. That expectation can feel suffocating.

And because of that pressure, some women stay away from “nice guys” and go for their more defiant counterparts. This is a way of breaking away from people’s expectations and expressing their feelings.

3. People enjoy a challenge

Going out with someone with an opposing personality can be difficult. However, some ladies are attracted to that challenge. They’re tired of gentlemen bending over backwards for them and want a change—even if that said change is hard to keep up with.

4. People want to “fix” them

Many girls see bad boys as projects they can fix. Even if they know those men are uncompromising, they’re still willing to be that they can tame and change them. If they manage to do that, they’ll view it as an accomplishment.

5. People believe they offer protection

Women view tough-minded men as strong beings. They won’t mince their words and won’t hesitate to take action—even if unprompted. And because of that, they feel protected around them.

Why Do Bad Boys Like Good Girls?

If a good girl tends to fall for a bad boy, the inverse is also true. The interest is mutual.

Some of you may ask: why would a bad boy fall for a good girl? Going for a bad girl makes much more sense, doesn’t it?

You’ll be surprised to know that good girls are often more appealing in a bad boy’s eyes. For some, being a woman with a similar personality can feel like looking at themselves in the mirror―and they may not like the reflection. A bad boy tends to be self-aware, and he’d rather not be reminded of what he is.

Another reason bad boys go for good girls: they enjoy mystery and novelty. They find innocence alluring and sexy, making for a more challenging pursuit.

That reason is a great lead-in to the next one: a bad boy can’t resist a thrilling chase. Regardless of his motivations, pursuing a girl with an opposite personality excites him. Like a good girl, this type of guy enjoys a challenge.

Some women just prefer rebellious men. After all, we’re allured by people we like. Isn’t that the point of attraction?

As long as they’re aware of what they’re getting themselves into, it shouldn’t be a problem.

But some bad boys are more than just their brooding and mysterious exterior. If a woman is up for it, they should ask them questions and go beyond their appearance. We’re sure they’ll answer them honestly.